


digital heart beat

by shslduelist (joeri)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Comfort, Drabble, Kissing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 06:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18219725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeri/pseuds/shslduelist
Summary: soulburner copes with a sudden onslaught the best way he knows how: impulsively.(set some time in the future after the current arc has resolved itself, spoilers for 92/93)





	digital heart beat

It flashes through Soulburner’s mind once while they’re entangled, and as sure as every other time, it plunges a dagger deep into his stomach and has him kissing harder and _harder._ Hands cling desperately to the spread of Playmaker’s collar, trying to build a home in his throat.

What if Takeru lost him? Lost him and Kusanagi both but… lost _this?_

No, no, no, his heart squeezes and he remembers leaving everything behind to come chase this dream of saving himself and saving the world and surviving it all with Playmaker by his side, the Playmaker who knew intimately what it’d felt like to be afraid of blindfolds and the images that were painted on the insides of them.

Soulburner whines openly into Playmaker’s mouth, running his fingers feverishly down Playmaker’s arms and tugging them around him—as if he’s afraid any second now he’ll glitch through the gutter.

“Y-yus… Playmaker,” he corrects. “I n-need you so much, please.”

Their bodies plant firmly against the alleyway wall, secluded and the scene for any teenage freakout. Playmaker wriggles his wrists free from Soulburner’s grasp and moments before Takeru can feel the weight of abandonment crush him to the floor, Playmaker roots Soulburner to the wall from shoulder to shoulder, gaze all but adamantine.

“Soulburner,” Playmaker addresses formally, as they so do to keep their identities hidden should anyone be listening, “I can’t kiss you if you’re having a panic attack.”

Oh, that is what is happening, isn’t it? It just… didn’t dawn on him and he’s not even embarrassed when it’s told to him. His nerves go empty without Playmaker touching him, holding him, running his hands along his arms and back and in all the ways he suddenly, _desperately_ needs.

The ache suffocates him.

“Please, I-I don’t know what’s going on, I just—”

Craning his head back and away, Playmaker staves off Soulburner’s attempts at nuzzling into his skin and curing that urge. It rots inside him, this hysteria, like everything is about to fall apart and he doesn’t know how to muffle it but with distraction—affection—stupid decisions.

His skin burns, like he’s going to slip out of reality without Playmaker closer to him, anchoring his body and tethering it to something real—wrapping him up in his arms so that maybe, just maybe for even three seconds, all of his emotions won’t sieve out of him into plain view like always.

“It’s okay,” Playmaker says and Soulburner doesn’t remember Playmaker being much taller than him so they must’ve moved to the ground in the time he’s floated out of his head because Playmaker is cradling him. Soulburner grips him back and shivers with a sob.

Sometimes it flashes out of nowhere, he knows. Yusaku has said it to him. Kusanagi can attest to it, even when Jin could be sitting peacefully. It can creep up on you, just when you think that you can be safe.

Soulburner remembers seeing Kusanagi fade away and seeing Playmaker’s broken up tears and white and black and red, and _red_ and thinking to himself that this could be the end of everything he’d dreamed of.

“I’m sorry,” he pants between heaving breaths and Yusaku’s embrace is warm and familiar, always no matter where they are.

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Playmaker reassures, his voice as still and flat as ever but with a dip in his lungs when he says, “I wish I were better at helping.”

Without question or hesitation, Soulburner’s head shakes and he says, “No, you’re fine. You’re good. This is good.”

And it takes a while for him to breathe again, but he does some time after with his head pressed up against Playmaker’s chest where a digital heart beat sings songs to him.

It’s strange, the things that happen in VR in order to account for what happens to the body in real life. Simulated heart beats aren’t any less real, especially when it can be pulled without trouble from the user’s vitals. It still amazes him, technology sometimes.

Something as simple as a tick tock in someone’s chest can soothe him.


End file.
